I learned an obvious lesson yesterday. Obvious because it was something I already knew. But a lesson because it’s still something that I don’t fully grasp.
I had to take my car into the shop over the weekend to get my catalytic converter fixed. I ended up going to a new mechanic that I had never met and I already have a distrust of mechanics. But this experience actually went well – I felt like I was treated fairly and was impressed with their speed and service. Until… I drove out of the shop and my car stared rocking and bouncing like a hip hop mobile. I stopped to see if I had a flat tire. Nope. Then I just drove home to see if it would stop (why would it stop?). I didn’t think about it again until Monday – when I drove 30 miles on the sidestreets of Garland, Texas to get to work. This is when my hissy fit began…
My car was bouncing so bad that my coffee was jumping out of my cup, through the lid, and all over my bad self. I had no rap music blaring, but I can assure you that the words in my car were worthy of an explicit lyrics tag. I was furious. I was mad at the mechanic because I was sure he had ripped me off. I was mad at the situation because my back and neck were killing me. I was mad at the drivers in front of me because their cars weren’t bouncing. I was yelling – no seriously – I was yelling things out in the car – just because. I basically lost it.
When I finally arrived at work, with whiplash and coffee spilt all over me I came to the simple realization that I didn’t have to get so mad about this. I started praying and telling God I was sorry for my actions. I had a choice in the matter. I could have chosen to react differently to the situation – but I didn’t. And even knowing that I had been acting like a bonehead didn’t change my day. I didn’t fully repent. In fact, I was pretty much ticked off all day. The lingering neck pains kept reminding me of the mechanic. And oh yeah – I made a not so nice phone call to the dude – demanding he fix my car today! And he did by the way take a look at my car and offer to help me out. He was never the problem… I was!
So by now the day is almost over and I am taking Macy to her basketball practice and something amazing happened. The 10 minute drive with Macy melted away all of my anger. Her sweet spirit and presence literally transformed me. I began to pray to God thanking Him for Macy and in my prayer I came to learn an obvious lesson.
God’s kindness leads you towards repentance – Romans 2:4
I was acting a fool. God didn’t need to do anything to make me feel better. This was all my fault. But God… used Macy to show His kindness towards me. When I didn’t deserve anything good – He gave me something spectacular in Macy. And His kindness through Macy – led me to immediate and full repentance.
The obvious here is that God loves you and me and He desires the absolute best for our lives. The lesson is that the best for our lives doesn’t necessarily include our own desired results. But God has mercy on us… again and again… so that we will turn to Him and live our lives not for ourselves, but for His glory!
